Thursday, September 22, 2005

Meditation thoughts from Cambodia.....

finally i am getting around to posting on my meditation retreat in taiwan...i am currently in phonm penh, cambodia and realized today that it has only been a week since i left the meditation retreat....and this week i am in the killing fields and tuol sleng (s-21)...one week....amazing where you can be in a week....such opposite ends of the spectrum....more on cambodia later :)

vipassana meditation....well, i have to say it has been a processing kind of week from my ten day experience as being a buddhist nun....vipassana is a meditation method, one of many....but the gentleman in charge of teaching this style is named a.s.r. goenka....he is not the original teacher....as this meditation method has been described as the style used and practiced by buddha....does this mean i am becoming a buddhist nun...i don't think so...although i really understood this meditation method well....as it stresses a link between science and meditation....he was talking about atoms and particles and vibrations....it just seemed so correct for me.....but it is a strenuous methodology....which is why you are secluded from the outside world for ten days....twelve hours of meditation practice a day...let me tell you that is a lot for the legs....my back and butt and legs were all quite sore for the first few days...but over time you learn to control your pain and realize it is not a forever thing...it comes and goes....this is the basis of the meditation...that nothing is permanent and everything changes moment to moment....like as you watch a river flow by...you won't see the same portion of the river moment to moment to moment.....

this meditation retreat asks you to become a monk or a nun for ten days to fully understand what you can accomplish....notice i keep using the word you....and that is because this is a path that only a person can take for themselves...someone can show you the path...but you have to experience it to truly understand your path....and this part i truly believe....each person will react differently and has to deal with their own hopes and dreams and pain....

anyway...about where i was....i was in a small village outside of taichung, taiwan...and man was it hot...the humidity was oppressive and there was no AC...fans, but i was sharing with three taiwanese women...and they got cold at night so they didn't want me to leave the fan on or the windows open too wide....i was dying...and remember you can't talk....i was the only foreigner at the retreat center...out of the participants and the teachers and the volunteers....it was crazy....but this made it easier not to speak with anyone...i have realized that most taiwanese understand english...but do not speak it and will act as if they don't understand except they laugh at some of the corniness and such....my teacher is a buddhist nun and has been one for 25 years...she practiced and was taught by goenka himself...and she lived in the states for around 16 years...so her english was excellent...and she was very helpful....the retreat bases many of its aspects on volunteers...and in order to volunteer you have to have taken at least one ten day course....it is a form of giving back to the meditation method...and so that first time students do not have to pay anything to learn this method and take a ten day course....which is very appealing...try and see if you like it....

as for the retreat itself...well...the bathroom was the first hurdle...after the lack of speaking chinese on my part....that's what folks in taiwan speak...the bathroom was a "squatter"...meaning the toilet is on the floor....chinese/taiwanese women are very quiet with what they do...including use the bathroom...so you could always tell when it was me....i was the loudest "pee-er"....plus, you have to hold your pants up and take the squat position and miss your shoes and the floor...let me tell you..it was eyeopening...and then include the humidity....what a trial...but i survived and it prepared me for the squatters i have now encountered in taiwan and cambodia...so it was helpful afterall...i also had to adjust to sleeping on a totami mat...not so comfortable and eating food i had no idea what it was...it was all veggie...but i couldn't ask for help in any way shape or form....most of it was awesome...some of it was scary...i have found i am not a huge fan of pink dragon fruit, or of rice and seaweed for breakfast....i was definitely immersed in the culture...one of the funniest moments was when i got to ask questions after 9.5 of silence..the first i asked was about a truck that drove past the retreat center every night playing mozart's fur elise....i was wondering what they were selling....the women started laughing and laughing...and needless to say i didn't get the joke....but they explained...this song is known all over taiwan and is used to tell people to bring out their garbage...its the garbage truck song...hahahaha, gotta love learning about a new culture :)

our day began with a gong waking us up (the guy that rang this was given the nickname the "mallet man" by me...he took his job very seriously! as everything was announced by the gong) at 4am...yes, you read that right...4am...me...you just gotta believe.....we were meditating then from 4:30 - 6:30am...breakfast was 6:30am...and then my time in the shower was on...each woman got twenty minutes to get it together...shower and such....it was like a dorm...so the time slot was the only way to make it work....as there were forty women and 10 nuns sharing the same space...then meditation again from 8-9am ...after the fourth day we were to hold our same position during this hour for the entire time...no uncrossing legs or hands or opening eyes...the first few days killed me...but you get used to it and are able to focus your mind quite well after you do this a few times....then more meditation from 9-11:30am....11:30 was lunch...and then rest til 1pm....from 1-2:30pm we meditated again...and then from 2:30 - 3:30pm we had to hold the position we chose....from 3:30 - 5pm we meditated more...and then it was "tea time" the chinese and taiwanese are really big on tea time....we had this powdery stuff that we added hot water to for tea....it was very interesting and i found out later it was rice powder...not much taste to that...but definitely something new....then we rested til 6pm...had a meditation hour of no movement from 6-7pm...7pm was a discourse...where i was in my own room with a video of goenka...who was explaining the learning and path and such...this was probably my favorite time of the day...as i was by myself..and goenka is a funny guy...so i kept laughing out loud...it was funny also that he kept saying things that were in my head and answering questions i had....he said the second and sixth days you would want to quit...and for me this was true...he said in the beginning that it would be hard to calm the mind to start paying attention to the sensations that happen continuously throughout your body...it was wild...and this is where it made the days worth it...he's a great teacher of this sytle of meditation and reached this level by crossing many hurdles...it was just really cool to listen to his teachings and learn more about this style....we would meditate again for about 40 minutes and then call it a night....

it was a long and hard ten days...no talking...no partying...no smoking...no alcohol...no contact with outside world folks...all veggie....and lots of meditation...at times i didn't think i would make it...but then the discourse would bring me back....again...this is a path someone can direct you to...but you have decide to walk it yourself....i am glad i have....and i am hoping to concentrate a bit more on continuing the practice...although with traveling it is hard....the main thing i am taking away from this retreat is that there is a lot of unhappiness in the world and my life and the lives of others...hopefully i can make it less so for me and for others...although each person is their own and needs to work on their own
path....if you want more specifics, just ask...i don't want to bore people with the steps and can point those who are interested to some more info on line....and if you have a specific question...please feel free to ask...i will answer anything....

if i had to do it again...i am not sure i would pick taiwan...or a country where i didn't speak at least some of the language....it gave me such insight to that part of the world on one level, that i am sure i would have never experienced...yet at the same time...the meditation itself is a challenge and being there for it made it even more challenging...but i would do it again...and may take another ten day course or donate my time...we'll see....

okay...i have babbled enough....if you want to know more...just ask...i think this meditation will help me along my path...to wherever it leads....and i hope your paths are happy....by the way...i am having trouble posting pictures...but i will keep trying throughout the trip...as i have some pretty spectacular ones...wish me luck :) hope all is well, peace out and be happy :)

Monday, September 19, 2005

Taiwan in general

so all in all i will spend 17 days in taiwan....although eleven of those was at a vipassana meditation retreat....its an interesting place...but not really set up for tourists...i think they have things to offer, but they just don't see it as an option to make money....which it seems is all taiwan is about...i am staying in taichung, which is the third largest city in the country and flew into taipei...the first thing you notice is the heat and humidity...ugh...its oppressive....and for the first time in my life i am experiencing a place that is MORE humid at night, than during the day....at times it is really unbearable....the population here is mostly composes of taiwanese and chinese and they speak chinese as their main language...most of the younger generations have had english in school...but many are not willing to speak it...but you notice when you look around from smirks and such on faces that they generally know what you are saying....

it is a very throw away sort of mentality here, combined with superstition and hard work...but it makes for a VERY wasteful society...for example...everywhere you look new apartment buildings are going up....BUT the current ones standing are generally 30-50% unfilled...the reason being that if a previous person or family has lived in an apartment...no one wants it after they move out....as it could be filled with their bad luck and bad spirits...everyone wants a NEW place where only their luck and spirits are....its a bit strange to my way of thinking....also...taiwan is not very unique...all of the stores are the same and each city block generally looks the same...a mcdonalds and 7-11 on every corner, with a shoe store and clothing store along the block and TONS of places to eat...my friends karen and landon have explained to me that it is cheaper for everyone in this country to eat out instead of cook...its a wild concept...plus, most women don't know how to cook as they live with their families until they get married and when they get married they move in with their husband's family and his mom does it all...until she gets too sick and then the younger women have to step up to the plate...without having ever practiced...another very different concept for me to grasp....the taiwanese women i have met don't always seem to follow this pattern...but it is not shocking to them to talk about it, as it seems to be the norm...plus, all of the people here are really small and thin...but the men are taller than i thought they would be...and they all have a swagger that is chinese (david ing...you walk like many who are here...it made me smile to realize that!) i realize that they are better equipped for the weather than i...but it amazes me at how cold they get...they are driving around the city in jackets and jeans and gloves and i am sweating to death in shorts, t-shirts and sandals....blows me away....

the easiest way around the city is by scooter and everyone has one...i have to say that has been some of the most fun i have had here..being in the back while karen or landon is driving and just watching the sites go by....soooooooo many people too...its insane...but even more insane is their driving style..its along the lines of i need to get somewhere and i will do that in any way imagined and forget about traffic rules...i have seen some funny driving situations...and have been scared by some as well...also, it is not uncommon to see entire families and a dog on one scooter...the kids usually are not in helmets either...usually only the dad is...because he is the most important....and everyone has a cell phone...and they are always on it...the scariest drivers for me have been the propane tank scooter dudes...they generally have between 3-5 tanks on their bikes and are traveling at top notch speeds...always fun to see when someone is carrying a compressed gas in a tank...landon said he has seen tanks flying down the streets that have been knocked off a bike...crazy taiwanese :)

as for touristy or different things i have seen here...we have been to three different open air markets...mostly to get things to eat...although there is plenty of crap to buy...its just that everything they make in taiwan they ship out of taiwan...so everything for sale is from china or thailand...its weird...you can't even get postcards anywhere but the airport...i have now had about 15 different types of tofu...and that includes stinky tofu...which was stinky, but didn't taste too bad...although i was told it wasn't stinky enough....so we are still on the look out for stinkier stuff....i played a game at one of the night markets where i won a remote controlled mini cooper...that was fun :) and i have had all sorts of tea...
that is the main drink around here...hot or cold...many different flavors and styles...also there are stands with all sorts of different kinds of food...want chicken heads...they're here...want duck hearts...they're here...want chicken feet...just around the corner...want pig's blood...no problem....its interesting to see all the different options i will not be having :) also...all the foods are related to how they will help your health at the moment...are you sniffling??? have some beef tips in soy sauce and go get the skin rubbed off your neck....totally foreign to me :) there is not much variety though from rice or noodles and soup with every meal...and it can or can not be spicy...its a personal preference...

at the moment it is the harvest moon bbq holiday weekend and everyone is bbqing with their families along the sidewalk, which is where you NEVER can walk because it is where all the scooters park....but anyway...the city is very pollution filled this weekend due to the bbq's and the burning of ghost money...again something to help with the spirits for the year...its an interesting experience and yes, i did attend a bbq....i have also been the the temple of confucious...which was spetacularly beautiful in appearance....i hung with a 100ft buddha....and walked around a very cool sculpture park....but there are not many other touristy things to do here..so you get immersed in the culture...which is a strange one...we also went to a movie in the "gold class" way...this means you order drinks and food before you go in and they are brought to you....and the seats are HUGE, red lazy-boy recliners...its a wild way to see a movie...let me tell you :) i felt famous :) or maybe just "gold class" hahahahahaha....but things here are like that...its all about who has a bugger car and better clothes....with things written on them in english....even if the english doesn't make sense...and trying to look pale, because that menas you obviously don't work (???)....not really a place that appeals to me....matter of fact, to me it is a bit depressing....people don't really seem all that happy here...they just seem to be on a quest for material wealth...a very sad state of affairs i think....but as my dad says...it is what the makes the world go round....
i can see why folks from other countries come here though...you can make a boat-load of cash...i could get an english teaching job in a day, and probably have a life set up in no time...but i don't think that will be happening....just not enough spirit here for me to want to live here....BUT this was very different when i was at the meditation retreat....i am still processing my experience with that, but i will write about it soon...i promise....

plus...i am trying to upload pictures to go along with my entries, but am not having success...so stay tuned...i hope to have them up soon...hope you enjoyed this update....more on meditation next and i am off to cambodia tomorrow...woo-hoo..hope all is well and be happy :) dani

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Left the Ice!!!!

(pictures include my first view of the sun as leaving antarctica...me having one of my first beers with my friend atlas in NZ....the cool pinwheels at the arts center in nz...and me and my friend lynn at sumner in NZ)
okay, here's the real story...instead of just an introduction....i was scheduled to leave the ice on august 24th....but unfortunately or fortunately for me, weather rolled in an we were stuck on ice for an extra two days....this rocked my world as i got to be a "useless eater" (thanks annie b) and hang with my friends who had just arrived in town...it was a relaxation period i was not supposed to have and i was all for it :) my bags were packed, my room was cleaned and i got to sleep in and eat and watch movies....i loved it :) when we were leaving for real...it actually hit me that i was leaving...it is an amazing thing that working in antarctica becomes routine, as does the landscape and the temperature, etc....just blew my mind :) but i have to say i was ready to go and was happy to be headed on my way....it was great to catch up with some folks who had just arrived and i am hoping winfly for them and those winterovers who are still on ice has been a lot of fun :) its better i am not there :) in the transport to the runway i FINALLY got to see the sun for the first time since march....yahoo!!!! that was a huge sign that i needed to go.....

when we got to the cheech airport i was greated with smells and dampness and colors and lights and different people and choices :) it rocked...i stayed in christchurch for five days and enjoyed that very much...i spent quality time with some ice folks and some quality time readjusting...like sitting in the botanical gardens reading a book, watching a stream roll by and kids laughing as they paddled in a kayak....it was incredible....and at one point i watched a little girl who was just learning to ride a bike...ride right into the avon river....it wasn't deep, but man did it freak her and her mom out...i just giggled to be a witness :) NZ is a beautiful place and i can only hope i get to go back there at some point and expaore more...but this time around it was good it was for a short while....i did have some amazing food...little india, as always was a highlight...and this time i made it to strawberry fare....a delicious, but pricey dessert restaurant....and we tried this mediterrean/singaporean restaurant that was yummy!!!! and i did make it out of town to sumner, which is a beach town...the weather was a bit cooler, but i dipped my toes in the water anyway....all in all it was a great few days and i really enjoyed myself....plus, i didn't need so much adjustment time...so the length was just what i needed....

leaving NZ was a trial in patience...as fog became my worst nightmare...okay, it wasn't that bad, but trying to leave NZ was a bit of a pain in the butt...i started my journey to taiwan at 4am on sept 1st...but fog was so thick you could cut it with a knife and no planes had landed from auckland, which is where i needed to go to get my flight to taiwan...the airline worked out a flight plan and we finally boarded and headed to the north island.....but as we got closer you could see how foggy it was in auckland...after circling for thirty minutes the pilot said he was going to try and land...and we headed downward....we had the wheels down and were in the middle of the fog and still you couldn't see the ground....then all of a sudden we pulled out of the landing.....UGH!!!! i had never experienced this before...you could tell we were close to the ground and it was a last minute decision...which i am happy about because i am still alive :) but we had to go to wellington to get more gas and wait out the fog....normally what was an hour trip was quickly turning into a mess...oh well....we finally got to auckland, but of course had missed the flight to taipei, taiwan...there were seven other folks in the same boat as me...but they were all chinese/taiwanese who didn't really speak english and didn't treat me as i was one of the group...unfortuantely i decided to associate....which didn't help me at all...these folks were rude to the travel dude in auckland and he decided to get us stuck in auckland for the night....dumb move on my part...so i was stuck in auckland for a night....but i had some good food, stayed in the city, caught a movie and tried to make the best of it...the next morning my travel started again at 6am...as the city is about an hour from the airport....and when i got to the airport no international flights were flying....more of the dreadded fog....this time i was on my way to hong kong and then taiwan....time did not work out again....oh well...but i did get to hang in the hong kong airport unexpectantly...the trip to hong kong was LONG...11 and 1/2 hours....phew...and the movies were not top notch...oh well....i did have a seats to myself and kept kind of falling asleep so that was a plus....one of the flight attendants and i got into a long conversation about NZ and the states and all that was going on in new orleans...and that was a great thing...really nice guy :) and he said it was probably better i arrived in taiwan one day later than anticipated as it was hit by a typhoon the day before that was one of the strongest it has had in the past ten years....loving the weather :) for your information, a typhoon is a hurricane or cyclone that happens on the pacific side which is why it is not referred to as a hurricane...anyway...one had come and i had thankfully missed it....

anyway...after two days of trying to get to a hot, humid taiwan...who knew...i made it to the airport at midnight on sept 2nd (which was 4am my time) where my friend karen was waiting for me :) it was a welcomed relief to see her smiling face :) and my next entry will be about my time here in taiwan...i am still here at the moment, but am headed to cambodia on monday....the next entry with be about my time in meditation and hanging in a country that doesn't really have a focus and no sense of tourism whatsoever....not that this is a bad thing....
until next time...hope all is well and be happy :)

Friday, September 16, 2005

And so it begins....


hey there all...well this is my first entry on my new blog....i think this will be a much better way to keep folks up to date with me as i now have over 400 people i am e-mailing and that's just too hard from computers i am paying for....so i hope this is good for you and that you check it every so often....the first entry should be posted from taiwan in the next few days, as that is where i am....i am not loving the hot and humid weather here, but i am getting used to it...i made it through my meditation retreat and had an amazing time....i will include more on that with the first real post....i just wanted to get this up and running as soon as i could....i wanted to let you know that i am safe and off ice and it that it has been eventful and fun thus far.....the one picture i have included i have stolen from my friend tom....it is of the sun...which i saw for my first time in 5 months on my way to my plane off ice...you just gotta love it.....i'll be in touch soon and i hope that all is well with everyone....peace out....and be happy :)